So Fine
by Sariyuki
Summary: Yaoi. SanzoxHakkai. Sanzo's POV. Why is Sanzo still having doubts even in the warm embrace of his lover?


Title: So Fine  
Author: Sariyuki  
Disclaimer: Saiyuki and its characters belong to the wonderful Minekura Kazuya sama whom I worship so much :P  
Pairing: Sanzo x Hakkai.  
Warning: Yaoi. Sanzo's POV. 

"Hakkai..." 

I breathed his name as my fingers tracing his flawless skin inch by inch. I couldn't take my eyes from his. The insanely beautiful green eyes of his. I placed soft kisses along the line of his jaw. I could feel his fingers on my back, clawing a little harder than before. His breathing was little jagged than before. 

I pulled away to look at his face. The glow in his eyes, the marvelous skin, the inviting lips. I brushed some offending dark brown hair of his aside. How could he be so frustratingly beautiful? How could I not fall for him? How could I ever not be tempted? 

He looked at me with those intensely green eyes of his and I marveled. His hand went up to caress the line of my face. The long fingers of his that I loved so much, touching me, caressing me like I was the most precious thing in this forsaken world. I closed my eyes to feel his tender touches and I shivered despite myself. I swore this was insane. I swore sometimes I felt like I could always die for him. 

"Open your eyes, Sanzo." 

I obligingly opened my eyes and I found that he was smiling. Not his usual generic smile that he wore on his face whenever he's being polite to somebody, not his joking smile like he always gave to Gojyo and Goku whenever they're fooling around, not one of those cynical smiles that he had when he was pissed. This was different, as if he really meant it. As if he's really glad that I was here with him. And when I saw it, my heart suddenly went numb. He was so precious. 

He pulled me closer and touched his lips with mine, barely. I inhaled his now familiar scent and felt so drunk. I never could get tired of this. I would never be tired of him. That was never the question. But I could not think anymore as I felt his tongue licking the bottom of my lips tenderly, as if he wanted to taste me, to test me. I hesitated. Then he pulled me closer. And kissed me like he really meant it. 

Maybe he really meant it. 

Maybe I really meant it. 

Maybe we both really meant it. And a kiss like this could mean anything. 

I placed my hand on his bare chest, his heart pounding fast. His body was so warm, heated by passion and desire. And I felt his hands caressing my naked body and I felt this was meant to be. I never felt that this was wrong. Him, mine, his body, mine, his soul, only mine. 

I sucked at his smooth skin and left kiss marks all over his chest. He cast his sight downwards to see the damage that I'd done and chuckled. I gave him a frown. 

"What are you laughing at?" 

He was still chuckling when he replied, "No, Sanzo houshi sama can do anything he likes to me." 

I bit and he gasped in surprise. I smirked, satisfied. He knew I never liked to be called that. 

He pulled my face near to his and gave me one of his teasing smile, "Someone is a little grumpy tonight." 

I tightened my hold on his body beneath mine, my face buried on the pillow in which his head was also resting on and heard his short intake of breath, "I'm always grumpy after sex with you." 

"Why is that? I wasn't that bad, was I?" 

I smiled inwardly and rolled off his body to give him more breathing space, " No, and that's the problem. You make me want more." 

He tousled my already messy hair and pulled me closer so that my head resting on his shoulder, "And you called that a problem?" 

"Well," I cast my gaze at the ceiling. I wanted to smoke badly but I also didn't want to leave my current position to look for a cigarette. "I don't want to tire you out. Who's going to drive tomorrow?" 

He laughed softly, "I could teach you to drive, Sanzo." 

I snorted my disapproval. And he chuckled again. 

And then, silence. 

Sometimes there wasn't anything else to say between us because I felt that he already knew the things that weren't said. And it was always silent after our lovemaking as if we were pondering about what had just happened. Tonight wasn't any different from other nights. I remembered some nights when we talked and talked for hours. Sometimes we were so sleepless we would just stay awake until the dawn broke and it was time to go. 

I positioned my body on my side facing his way, my head still resting comfortably on his shoulder. "Is this okay?" I asked. 

He nodded. I could feel he's dozing off now. I didn't blame him. Hours and hours of driving could take its toll on one's body, human or not. 

And at this point, I saw the mark on his stomach. An ugly scar that seemed so out of place on his otherwise flawless ivory skin. I ran my fingers lightly on the length of the scar, barely touching. The scar itself never bothered me however the meaning of that scar was entirely a different question. It served as a constant reminder to me about his past, about his darkest secrets. I tried to shove the next thoughts away but I was too late. This scar had also reminded me that our joining was never meant to be, the forbidden bond between youkai and human. But I often wondered if he were still a human, would it make any difference? 

I felt my heart grow heavy. I'd never been one who cared about things like that. Everyone had his or her own choices to make and I had made mine. But what about him? Did he ever stop and think about these things? 

"I'm fine, Sanzo," he suddenly spoke, barely audible. His voice was leaden with sleep. He cracked one eye open and placed his hand on mine and gave it a light squeeze. "We're fine." 

It didn't surprise me anymore, the way he always seemed to know my thoughts. I stifled a yawn and muttered, "Good." 

And as sleep was slowly taking me over, I tried not to think anymore. Our hands were joined as a symbol of our fates that entwined with each other. I wanted this, forbidden or otherwise. My consciousness was drifting away as dark void filled my vision and mind. But our hands were still holding each other and I felt so fine. 

=== End === 


End file.
